If you look at most successful people, you'll see that they all have one thing in common - self-confidence. Yes, some people are born with it but for most other people, it's a learned skill.Here are my top suggestions to increase your confidence:Work on your body language.We've all been at places where someone quite ordinary strides into a room, makes eye contact and start impressing the socks off everybody. Or where you think somebody's at least 6 feet tall because of their bearing and the way they carry themselves and then later you realize they're quite average.
I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:
Wear clothes that fit you correctly.In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you? The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you're trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don't do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It's the fit not the size that matters.Be kind to yourself.Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not. When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.Remind yourself often of your good qualities.Do you know what your best qualities are? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?
Make a list of at least five good qualities and remind yourself of them daily, but especially when you're having a bad day.Don't dwell on your past mistakes.Recognise that the mistake does not define who you are. You can fail an exam without being a failure. Your relationship might have gone off in the ditch but that does not mean you are a failure.Keep things in perspective. It just means that you failed the exam or that the relationship failed. Surround yourself with supportive people.The last thing you need when you feel down or less-than-fabulous is to be surrounded by naysayers and negative people telling you that "all men suck" or "it's impossible to get that job you're after".Choose carefully who you share your heart with and surround yourself with people who will encourage and motivate people. If you don't have many of those in your life, then contact me and I will be your cheerleader!
Start being more assertive. If you have formed the habit of putting aside your needs, thoughts and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you must stop that habit now. Being passive and putting the needs and rights of others above your own further damages your self-esteem. So start working on that ability to speak up and share what's on your mind and stop letting others push you around. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.
Rewards are great at any age. The last thing I asked of a man, was to come tighten the lug nuts after I changed a tire. Do you think after he came to do this in the middle of his workday that I planned something special for him? You better believe it! He needs to know that he is appreciated. Sincerely telling him is one ay, but it's also nice to do things for him as well. And this does not mean going all out. It could be as simple as a special dinner that is planned with his preferences in mind. This is simple enough that it could be done for a friend or your man.Treating a man special is something that is too often overlooked but is such a great tool. Many men will say that this is not their thing, but a spa day is such a great gift. The massage, the facial, the mani/pedi can all be tailored for the manly man (in my immaturity - I still laugh at the clear polish on the nails though). In today's tougher economic time, it may not be as easy to afford the day at the spa, but providing all the services for him at home may work just as well.Game day preparations are also a big hit for the sports aficionado. Whether you get everything ready and leave after you get his boys to come over, or it's a party for two (if you're WATCHING The game too); when you plan it with him in mind he will feel it.
When given a compliment you then responds with "thank you very much." Many times when someone congratulate or compliment us on something, the response is always "it is nothing" or "Anyone could have done." When you reject a compliment what you are doing is discrediting yourself. Stop deducting the positive things as if they do not exist (or use a negative filter).Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. Grab an index card or a paper and write down positive affirmations such as "I accept and love myself" or "I am a valuable person with much to contribute and deserves the best like the others. " Take it with you everywhere and at all times.Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, especially in the morning when you wake up and at night before bed. When you repeat the affirmation enjoy positive feelings and feel good about yourself.Take advantage of workshops, books and any other program on self-esteem. Any material you can come to understand and master that will affect your daily behavior.
Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.
Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.
Contribute and help. Start sharing your time and skills with people around you that may be in need. When you do good things for others then you feel useful, valued and good about yourself. This will inevitably raise your mood and increase your self esteem. Search your community on how to make a positive impact.Get involved in work and activities that appeal to you. It's hard to feel good about yourself if the days were spent in a job that you hate. Self-esteem flourishes when you take our time on activities that you truly enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Even if you can not change work right now, you can still devote leisure time activities and hobbies that stimulate you and you really enjoy.Be honest with yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You will never have respect for yourself if you do not live life the way you want and deserve. If you're making decisions to fit well to other people then you're not being honest with yourself and your self-esteem ends up suffering.Hands up! You will not be able to improve self-esteem if you avoid the challenges of life and the view from afar. If you do not take action for fear or anxiety then you will frustratingly live with self-doubt that will lower their self-esteem
I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:
Wear clothes that fit you correctly.In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you? The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you're trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don't do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It's the fit not the size that matters.Be kind to yourself.Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not. When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.Remind yourself often of your good qualities.Do you know what your best qualities are? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?
Make a list of at least five good qualities and remind yourself of them daily, but especially when you're having a bad day.Don't dwell on your past mistakes.Recognise that the mistake does not define who you are. You can fail an exam without being a failure. Your relationship might have gone off in the ditch but that does not mean you are a failure.Keep things in perspective. It just means that you failed the exam or that the relationship failed. Surround yourself with supportive people.The last thing you need when you feel down or less-than-fabulous is to be surrounded by naysayers and negative people telling you that "all men suck" or "it's impossible to get that job you're after".Choose carefully who you share your heart with and surround yourself with people who will encourage and motivate people. If you don't have many of those in your life, then contact me and I will be your cheerleader!
Start being more assertive. If you have formed the habit of putting aside your needs, thoughts and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you must stop that habit now. Being passive and putting the needs and rights of others above your own further damages your self-esteem. So start working on that ability to speak up and share what's on your mind and stop letting others push you around. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.
Rewards are great at any age. The last thing I asked of a man, was to come tighten the lug nuts after I changed a tire. Do you think after he came to do this in the middle of his workday that I planned something special for him? You better believe it! He needs to know that he is appreciated. Sincerely telling him is one ay, but it's also nice to do things for him as well. And this does not mean going all out. It could be as simple as a special dinner that is planned with his preferences in mind. This is simple enough that it could be done for a friend or your man.Treating a man special is something that is too often overlooked but is such a great tool. Many men will say that this is not their thing, but a spa day is such a great gift. The massage, the facial, the mani/pedi can all be tailored for the manly man (in my immaturity - I still laugh at the clear polish on the nails though). In today's tougher economic time, it may not be as easy to afford the day at the spa, but providing all the services for him at home may work just as well.Game day preparations are also a big hit for the sports aficionado. Whether you get everything ready and leave after you get his boys to come over, or it's a party for two (if you're WATCHING The game too); when you plan it with him in mind he will feel it.
When given a compliment you then responds with "thank you very much." Many times when someone congratulate or compliment us on something, the response is always "it is nothing" or "Anyone could have done." When you reject a compliment what you are doing is discrediting yourself. Stop deducting the positive things as if they do not exist (or use a negative filter).Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. Grab an index card or a paper and write down positive affirmations such as "I accept and love myself" or "I am a valuable person with much to contribute and deserves the best like the others. " Take it with you everywhere and at all times.Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, especially in the morning when you wake up and at night before bed. When you repeat the affirmation enjoy positive feelings and feel good about yourself.Take advantage of workshops, books and any other program on self-esteem. Any material you can come to understand and master that will affect your daily behavior.
Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.
Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.
Contribute and help. Start sharing your time and skills with people around you that may be in need. When you do good things for others then you feel useful, valued and good about yourself. This will inevitably raise your mood and increase your self esteem. Search your community on how to make a positive impact.Get involved in work and activities that appeal to you. It's hard to feel good about yourself if the days were spent in a job that you hate. Self-esteem flourishes when you take our time on activities that you truly enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Even if you can not change work right now, you can still devote leisure time activities and hobbies that stimulate you and you really enjoy.Be honest with yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You will never have respect for yourself if you do not live life the way you want and deserve. If you're making decisions to fit well to other people then you're not being honest with yourself and your self-esteem ends up suffering.Hands up! You will not be able to improve self-esteem if you avoid the challenges of life and the view from afar. If you do not take action for fear or anxiety then you will frustratingly live with self-doubt that will lower their self-esteem
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